It all started on 12th of July from helping her to understand a concept of Physics.
That was the time when I was preparing for my IIT exam at Aakash Institute. As I was good at studies so my teachers wanted me to stay in the institute after the classes so that I can focus on my studies and won't get distracted by any means. My classes used to end at 2 pm. After that, I used to have lunch and take a power nap for 20 minutes and then start my studies from 3 pm onwards. Sometimes the students of medical wings also used to come to the IIT wings for self-studies.
As I was good at studies, I used to help students in solving questions sometimes, but that too very rarely.
I still remember the day, dated back to 12th of July, in the evening a girl from the Aakash medical wing came to me with a physics question. I looked at her as she entered the room. I was the only person in the room.
She- Are you Bibhu?
Me- Yes
She- P1 Sirnka class achhi, tame tike e problem ta solve haba ki, dekhila .
(P1 Sir has classes to take, I was wondering if you could help me out with this problem)
Me- Kou Topic?
( Which Topic ? )
She - Thermodynamics
Me- sure.
She showed me the problem and I solved it. Then she asked few questions from different topics and I helped her out with them. After that she said;
She- Tamaku kouthi agaru dekhichhi!
(I have seen you before)
Me- Kouthi?
(Where?)
She- Tame 12th re Subhendu sir nka Math class ku jauthila ki?
(Did you used to attend Subhendu sir’s math class in 12th)
Me- Han only weekend re.
(Yeah weekend classes)
She- Ya, sethipain face ta familiar laguchhi. Mun b weekend class jauthili.
( That's why your Face seems familiar. I too used to attend his weekend classes)
Now as we came to know that we were from same batch and also have some friends in common, we stretched the conversation a little longer. Though I was not much interested in conversation as I knew it's hampering my studies( I don't know it was my seriousness or my ego). I ended the conversation by saying that I had some leftover topics to finish for my weekend exam, and she can come after some days if she again faced some problems regarding the topics.
After that she started asking me doubts everyday, not only questions about physics or chemistry, but about my likes, my family, friends etc. I couldn't avoid most of the questions but preferred to stay silent on a few. She might have realised after someday that I am not that much interested in carrying out any sort of personal conversation with her. After that day she reduced talking with me but didn't completely stop talking.
After few days, one day while I was having lunch she came in the room, I looked at her, she smiled, I smiled back.
She- kan achhi aji Lunch re?
(What you have got for lunch? )
Me- Fried rice and Paneer butter masala.
She- Mun Gajar Halwa anichi, taste karibaki?
(I got Gajar Halwa, would you like to taste it?)
Me- Ya sure.
She offered me some from her box. While I was tasting it;
She- Besta huani, tame lunch karisarile mun alaga room ku paleibi. Eka lunch karibaku Vala lagilani ta sethipain tama pakhaku asigali.
(Don't worry I will go to another room after we finish our lunch. I came to you as I didn't want to have lunch alone.)
I felt guilty, as I was caught. She knew I am not interested in any conversation.
To change the topic I switched the conversation ;
Me- Tamaku agaru kebe institute re lunch karibar dekhini!
(I have never seen you before having your lunch at the institute)
She- nai mun age hostel re rahuthili but ebe ghare rahuchhi. Hostel re padhihauni.
(I was staying in hostel before. As I couldn't focus on my studies, now I am staying at home)
Then we had a li’l bit random conversations. By the time we had finished our lunch and while she was about to leave the room ,
Me - I would like to have something from your tiffin box tomorrow, I don't mind if you would like to have the same from mine.
I said as I didn't wanted her to feel bad about my avoidance.
Then this sharing of tiffins and helping with her studies continued till the month of February.
I never realised she had started falling in love with me, or actually I didn't have time to notice so. I was fully focused on my exams.
On 14th February 2013, She proposed me. I was not at all prepared for this. I didn't know how to react. May be she noticed my uncomfortable state and calmly said;
She - See, I just told you what I feel for you. It is not necessary that you will also feel in the same way for me as I do, neither I expected you to. We are good companions.
After hearing all her feelings towards me, I just told her that 'Its ok'.
Without uttering much, She just said bye and left the room.
For the next 3 hours I failed to concentrate on my class and was trying to pacify my increased heartbeat. I returned home early that day and shared everything with my mom.
She said as far as your study is not hampered and you are not distracted from your goal, it's fine to be in a relationship. Now that was something that lightened my heart.
Next day, I told her about this and put a condition that we should not get distracted from our goal. With moist eyes, she shook her head in affirmation.
Things went well between us. I don't remember a single day or even a single moment which she disturbed me or trying to deviate me from my goal. We used to have a chat only during the lunch and few minutes in the evening despite us both being seated just a wall apart. She was all supportive throughout the time .
Entrance time approached. Both of us were fully into our studies.
I remembered the day on which my JEE Main result was declared. She was the 1st one who called me and informed me that I got 235 in Jee Main. I think She was the happiest person at that moment who celebrated my victory as a festival.
However my JEE advance didn't go well, I failed even to get a seat in any IIT, she was the one who boosted me up. I still remember “If anything that matters, that is Knowledge, not College” was her consoling words. And trust me, this is the motivation or you can say her soothing words which moulded an ordinary Physics Enthusiastic into a Researcher, a Philosopher and Helped me to climb every step of my life, till yet.
I failed to do counselling for NIT, my grand ma met with an accident while my dad was attending my uncle who was admitted in a hospital in Mumbai for cancer treatment.
I lost control over myself, went into depression. There she was, she held my hand tight, didn't let me slip into that darkness. She filled up my form for OJEE counselling, got all my documents ready for the counselling and did all the necessary requirements.
I got a Seat in one of the best Engineering college of Eastern India. She too made it to a good medical college. I was not happy with my college, I had a big ego problem. I rarely talked with anybody in my 1st year of college. I was torn apart from inside, I was broken and completely shattered but still my ego didn't let me to express it to anyone.
Our relationship was struggling hard to survive in the adverse situation. We were 300 kms apart from each other. I rarely picked up her phone and never called her in my 1st semester. It was she who was fighting and trying day and night to keep our relationship alive. I was not interested in anything at that time. Neither in her , nor in this relationship.
The Dussehra Vacation was going on. I was at my home when I got a call from her dad on October 17. She was admitted to a hospital in my home town. I reached there in 30 minutes. The whole earth seems to slip away from under my feet when I came to know about the disease which she was suffering from and all the pain which she was going through on the daily basis. She was suffering from blood cancer. She never told me about it before, or maybe she gave a hint but I was too busy to notice it.
On 18th October, I saw that face for the last time who used to love me from all her heart and was dreaming about spending her whole life with me.
The worst fear of last 2–3 days came true when on 21st October I received a call from her mom as she invited me to their house. When I reached there , an emptiness engulfed me as the one who was the reason for me to visit that house was not physically present there to welcome me except some memories which were enough to hunt me down .
Her mother gave me a box wrapped in fancy paper with a note on it “For my Prof. Aarya”. She used to call me by that name. I knew what it was, it was my birthday gift. I opened it. It was A original Chinese Wing Sung special edition pen with my name customised on it. I broke into tears. I cried all my hearts out that day. I cried for a long time, since I let a lot of emotions went out in it.
Her parents consoled me, pacified me. While I was returning to my home, her mother gave me some of her personal belongings which she wanted me to have . Her slam book, her personal diary, etc etc. And there went not a single day when I didn't cry reading her diary. How beautifully she had preserved each and every moment she spent with me. Our 1st meet, sharing lunch, lil chitchat, evening coffee, what hair style I did on what day, what I worn on what day everything. Even I came to notice a lot of things while reading which I have lived in but never noticed.
In the entire relationship It was me Who was so lucky to have her with me and she was so unlucky to have me. I had never been romantic to her, even Never said that I loved her too( She never mentioned I said I LOVE You to her in her diary) . When I read her diary I realised that I too had a love story, a beautiful love story. An unsung and unsaid love story of an Angel with a stone hearted beast.
4 years passed after this incident but till now not even a single day has passed without thinking about her and without regretting that how miserably I failed to express my love to her. I failed before her love. I failed to stand the test of love.
When we were in a relationship, I never called her but after she left me , I dialled her number everyday with some hopes in my heart that one day she may pick up the call and once again I will hear her melodious voice , I will get a chance to make some memories with her which I failed to create .
Now when I look up in the sky, I try to find my Reny among the stars. Whenever I approached a step towards success, Whenever I achieved something great , whenever I missed someone, every time a star shines as bright as it can in the distant sky . I know she must be somewhere deep down there in the sky , looking at me, and thinking how stupid this boy is, “He never appreciated me when I was with him, and now when he knows I will never return, he is searching for me in this endless Cosmos.”
From Quora
